A Shot of Encouragement: Be a Pessimist!

I took a risk. I thought to myself “what could possibly go wrong?” Well, I got the job.

There was no formal “internship opportunity,” so I figured I’d create my own. Currently serving as a Bergen County Commissioner, I knew Ramon Hache’s office would be bustling with local politicians, public figures, and citizens all summer long. I had to be a part of it so I attached my novice resumè to my email and hit send. A couple of days later, I found myself driving in circles around the parking garage that accompanied his office building, anxiously looking for a spot to park my car. My interview with the Commissioner was in 5 minutes and I was sweating bullets, worrying that I had parked illegally, and searching for the exit out of that goddamn parking garage. Eventually, I made it to the correct building and then to his office where I sat directly across from him. The conversation flowed naturally and eye contact was made--an accomplishment on my behalf--despite my slight embarrassment for having sweat stains all over the satin blouse I wore. My resumè impressed him and his aide. I would begin working the following week.

I left his office feeling excited but incomplete. Like something was unanswered. I didn’t know the answer to the question I kept muttering to myself before entering his office: “what could go wrong?” I went in expecting there to be an answer to that question, but like always, nothing actually went wrong. Instead, I left with an internship and a new sense of confidence.

As humans, we’re programmed to assume the worst of outcomes. I was once told to “be a pessimist” rather than an optimist because “you either get what you expect or end up pleasantly surprised by reality.” This is true in many senses but I worry that we shy away from opportunities because of the fear that something could actually “go wrong.” That fear hinders our ability to put ourselves out there and take risks. But what are we actually afraid of?

Whether you’re second-guessing your decision to apply for a job because of the possibility of not getting it or brainstorming an excuse to bail on plans with friends--something I consider myself an expert at--because you’re not the best at engaging in conversations about topics that don’t quite interest you, be a pessimist. I acknowledge that this is unusual advice, but it puts things into perspective. Apply for that job, with hopes that you will be hired, but become comfortable with the idea that you may not be selected. You’re either going to get what you expected or be pleasantly surprised that you’ve been hired. Once you master this mindset, you’ll soon realize that the negative outcome of a given situation won’t hurt as badly as it once did. More often than not, you’ll actually discover that there was no negative outcome and your worrying was unnecessary. Instead, you’ll be able to feel comfortable with taking risks and putting yourself out in the world of possibility.

While my thoughts are being translated to you through writing, I need you to hear the tone in which I say “be a pessimist.” Imagine a Disney princess, with her annoyingly high-pitched voice, giving positive advice to the birds she sings to each morning. That happy-go-lucky ring that lingers with every word a Disney princess says is how I hope you all will read my advice. Like I said, humans are programmed to assume the worst of the worst, which means that we’re already aware and thinking about the possibility of a negative outcome. Then, something disconnects in our brains and we shy away from challenge, robbing us of opportunity. As I write this, I think about all of the opportunities I missed out on because I was paralyzed by the thought that a negative outcome could occur. I truly believe that becoming a “pessimist” has cured my fear of stepping outside of my comfort zone. Once I changed my outlook, I became obsessed with what laid on the other side of the wall I was hiding behind. Before becoming consumed by your fear of a negative outcome, envision that Disney princess telling you to be a pessimist, and press submit on your application. Agree to take on a difficult task. Do what you thought you never could.

There are so many opportunities within reach, but if we fear the worst, we hurt none other than ourselves. I can’t help but think about all we could have accomplished if we befriended the possibility of a negative outcome, rather than fear it. Be a pessimist, befriend the possibility of negativity, and be the confident individual that we’re all able to become. Trust me, you will be delighted by your findings.